John Oliver’s latest “Last Week Tonight” web exclusive on Sunday featured one of his signature, heated tirades against a peculiar target: birds and their migratory patterns.
“As the weather cools down, birds are going to start their seasonal migration, which is of course when they travel to warmer climates in order to feed, grow, and mate,” Oliver said. “It’s their version of ‘Eat, Pray, Love,’ except birds are too dumb to realize that everything they needed was inside them the whole time.”
Oliver then proceeded to lay down a harsh mock-rant against the avian species as it prepares for migration.
“I have a brief message for the birds of the Northeast as they begin their journey southward. Are you listening birds? Here it goes: F— you, birds!”
Calling birds a “sh–ty sequel to the dinosaurs,” the “Last Week Tonight” host went on to accost parrots, ostriches, and (most pointedly) geese: “Yes, I’m talking to you, geese. You look like ducks that played football in high school and never stopped going to the gym.”
The reason behind Oliver’s takedown of all winged creatures seems to lie in his deep-seated resentment of birds’ ability to escape the impending cold weather, as he prepares to face the winter months in New York City, where “Last Week Tonight” is filmed.
“I hope all you disgusting sky mice enjoy your tropical getaways while the rest of us face the frigid torment of winter. And I hope each and every one of you flies into a wind turbine on your way north next spring.”
HBO’s “Last Week Tonight” returns from summer hiatus on September 25.
Watch the segment below: