9 insane laptops you never knew existed

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Asus

When you’re buying a laptop, you may look for a model with a design that reflects your personality.

If your personality is a little off-center, you may want to check out these… things.

Some are new, some are old, and others are designed for very specific kinds of people with specific uses.

Have a look at the weirdest laptops we’ve ever seen.


Let’s begin with one of the more reserved specimens in this list. The MSI GT80 Titan is the first laptop that comes with a full mechanical keyboard.

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LinusTechTips/YouTube

The MSI GT80 Titan goes for nearly $3,500 on Amazon.


Keys on mechanical keyboards give a satisfying clicky noise and fingertip feedback that gamers love. Normal laptops don’t have mechanical keyboards because they are too bulky, but the GT80 doesn’t care.

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LinusTechTipe/YouTube

It also has TWO incredibly powerful graphics cards, which will handle anything you throw at it for the next decade. The GT80 laptop goes for more than $3000, which isn’t surprising in the slightest.

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LinusTechTips/YouTube

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, let’s turn the heat up and go full psycho with this absurd monstrosity, the Asus ROG GX800 gaming laptop.

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Asus

That growth sticking out of its behind is a liquid cooling system, which is completely insane. It cools down the components inside the gaming laptop when you’re playing just <em>too damn hard</em>.

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Asus

It’s actually a regular laptop that works fine without the liquid-cool dock, but the graphics cards don’t work at 100% without the dock because they’re so powerful and can easily overheat.

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This GIFs are from the previous model, the GX700, but the same goes for the GX800.


It, too, has two graphics cards. Except the GX800 uses Nvidia’s latest GTX 1080 graphics cards, which are just as powerful as those you’d find on a full-size desktop.

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Asus

Here’s how it works: Liquid is pumped through internal piping to collect heat from the processor and graphics cards. The hot liquid travels to the radiators in the dock where the heat is deposited, and the heat is blow away by fans.

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Asus

You can even attach a powerful antenna to maximize your online gaming.

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Asus

Then there’s this laptop from Acer called the Predator 21X, which has a mechanical keyboard, two graphics cards, and…

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Acer

It’s the first laptop to feature a curved screen.

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PCMag/YouTube

And it’s absolutely huge.

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Cnet/YouTube

The Dragonfly Futurfön sounds cool, and looks like any old tablet/laptop hybrid.


But it can transform into a DOUBLE laptop, with one screen running Windows and the other running Android. It’s a 3-in-1 device all for $800, but it’s still in development after a successful Indiegogo campaign in 2014.


Next, we have this funky-looking Steampunk laptop. That’s right. It’s a laptop.

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Datamancer

See! It actually looks like a piece of gorgeous Victorian furniture.

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Datamancer

This thing is absolutely stunning. There was a time you could buy laptops from the craftsman, who would use laptops parts and build the beautiful wooden cases, but he only sells accessories now.

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This is the second model. The first model needed a key to turn on the laptop.
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Datamancer

Check out the crazy and unique keyboards and mice on the craftman’s website.


Let’s cool things down a bit with this laptop called the “Floral Kiss,” by Fujitsu.

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Here’s the “Floral Kiss” in “feminine pink.”
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Fujitsu

It had design elements that the company thought would appeal to women, like a pearly power button and fake diamonds on the Caps Lock key.

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This is, unbelievably, not a joke.
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Fujitsu

And it was designed so that women can open the lid without the risk of damaging their nails. This continues to not be a joke.


But the promo video gets even more offensive. It shows how the “Floral Kiss” is perfect for women who just want to shop for handbags online. Because that’s all women do with computers… right?


Watch the short promo video to see how else Fujitsu thinks women use computers… and how offensive this thing is.


Let’s check out the opposite of the “Floral Kiss.” Here’s the most chunky, rugged laptop ever to crush the Earth. The Getac B300-X Toughbook looks like it fell out of the sky and killed the dinosaurs.

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ohlipcon/eBay

This particular model is being sold on eBay for just under $1,800.


It has a handle, so you can carry it into battle. And, like any machine that’s also a weapon, it runs Windows 10.

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If it could grow a beard and wear Oakleys, it’d be easily mistaken for a Navy SEAL.
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ohlipcon/eBay

Here’s another chunky beast from Getac, that’s actually a mobile server with a screen. That means you can carry around an abridged version of “the internet” in five hard drives wherever you go.

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Regular laptops may have one or two hard drives, max. Not this bad boy.
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Getac

Next up is the Surface Pro 4, that many of us have seen before — but it’s not the laptop I want to show you.

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Screenshot

Behold. The Acme Portable “Sherlock 4:4.” It’s a portable “forensics workstation,” so it’s not really a laptop or a hybrid. But, like the Surface Pro 4, all the important parts are in the screen. That’s where the similarities end.

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Sherlock

Unlike the Sufrace Pro’s magnetic keyboard connection, the Sherlock’s keyboard connects to the screen with a telephone cable. Beautiful.

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Acme Portable

Acme describes the Sherlock as “incredibly compact” and “portable” at 27.5 lbs. Most laptops weigh under 4 lbs, but I suppose it IS as powerful as about eight Surface Pro 4s. Who knows how much this thing costs; you have to contact the company to get a quote. I’m still waiting to hear back.

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Acme Portable

If you’d rather get the Surface Pro 4, you can get it for under $1,000 on Amazon.