- Office Space, screenshot
If you, like many American men, work in an office, you should know that there are things you simply should not wear.
And yet, we see them all the time anyway.
So Business Insider figured it was time to put some of the obvious transgressions onto one definitive list of things no man should wear to the office.
Some of these things look sloppy, some of them look childish, and some of them look just plain ridiculous.
None of that is anything you want.
And since we know you’re wondering, yes all these rules still apply on casual Friday. It’s called “casual” Friday, not “dress like you’re at your best buddy’s house” Friday.
Shouts to Jessica Cadmus of The Wardrobe Whisperer for helping us cobble this eyesore together.
- niwisbest via flickr
You may not think we can see that you’re wearing gym socks because your pants cover them or something.
But we can feel them.
(Also we can probably still see them, every man should know that his socks will show at some point.)
Any shirt you wore the night before.
Now there are levels to this.
If you changed after work, wore a shirt to dinner, and, after a couple hours, went home, took it off, and then went to bed – okay. You can wear this shirt again the next day.
If you changed after work, met your boys at happy hour, did Jaeger bombs for about four hours, went to dinner, and then played video games until you passed out – no.
Please use your best judgment.
Or ask a better-dressed stranger how you look after Jaeger bomb No. 2.
Ladies and gentlemen, former US Sen. Rick Santorum.
I rest my case.
- Melia Robinson/BI
Wedding ring? Yes.
Watch? Of course.
Everything else? You look like Captain Jack Sparrow.
- Business Insider
Oh come on just try.
If you don’t know how to iron something yourself, watch BI editor Matt DeBord teach you how here …
After that, welcome to adulthood. Very considerate of you to show.
Shoes that aren’t made of leather.
- <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/tachyondecay/2887325905/”> tachyondecay </a> via Flickr
Nothing says “professional adult” like shoes that are partially made of mesh and have bright yellow accents.
- Flickr/ Joe Shlabotnik
Backpacks are for camping and traveling and actual textbooks.
Or they’re for small children who need to put their Elmer’s glue in a separate compartment so it doesn’t get on their book report.
Do you need a separate compartment for your glue?
Patches on anything — bag, jacket … anything.
We get it, you hiked something or climbed something or graduated from somewhere, and you’re proud of that.
So you put it on your backpack, or stick it on your jacket for the memories.
Just so you know, though, you look like a cub scout.
A “fashion” belt.
Fashion belts are for your hobbies.
For example, this studded number is for when you’re rehearsing with your alt-rock band.
Or maybe you have one of those massive made-in-Texas belt buckles. Those are for when you’re herding cattle, or riding a bucking bronco, or something.
None of that is office work.
Wearing a hat indoors is rude.
What’s more, the hats men choose to wear to work are usually ugly.
And by “ugly” we mean fedoras. And by “wear” we mean look pretty bad in.
- J Crew
You know better.
- istolethetv / Flickr
-150 points if you wear a sleeveless shirt.
-300 points if it has words on it.
- The Social Network / Columbia Pictures
There is no pair of flip-flops that belong in an office.
Not even your “classy” Rainbows.
Sports apparel of any kind.
Are you at a tailgate?
Take it off.
Some of these things shouldn’t have been in your closet in the first place …