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- Dating in your 30s while living with your parents can be a challenge.
- The keys to dating in your 30s while living with your parents are communication, setting boundaries, and getting creative when it comes to bringing someone home.
- Here, eight people living under their parents’ roofs in their thirties share hilarious stories about their dating lives.
“Living at home can create multiple issues related to dating,” David Bennett, counselor and relationship expert atDouble Trust Dating, told Business Insider.He said it may feel like high schooldatingall over again.
“The main challenge it causes is logistical – it’s much easier to have a fun and romantic date if you have your own place, with multiple rooms at your disposal,” he said. “Also, nothing can kill romance like knowing your parents aresleepinga few feet away.”
1. Steph, 30
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After grad school, I moved in with my parents for a while. We were having a big party, and I invited my boyfriend, Adam. I knew we would be drinking, and he lived more than an hour away, so I suggested he spend the night.
He hesitated – probably because my dad is an imposing figure – but I told Adam he could sleep in the guest room. When we came downstairs in the morning, my parents looked at me questioningly and I made it clear that Adam slept in the guest room.
I thought all was fine … until I saw Adam a few days later and he told me that my dad took him aside when I was in the kitchen and said, “Things like that don’t happen in this house – unmarried people don’t spend the night at each other’s parents’ homes.” I was absolutely mortified – and clearly oblivious.
2. Tara, 31
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I went out with some girlfriends, and we struck up a conversation with a group of British guys. One of them and I really hit it off. He said he wanted to hang out more, but he was sharing a hotel room with two other guys.
I got the bright idea that he could come back to my place, even though I was living back at my parent’s place. I never brought guys home, ever. I told him he could come over, but I’d have to drive him home super early in the morning. He agreed.
We stayed up so late that I forgot to set an alarm and, before I knew it, I was hearing noises in the kitchen! I joined my parents for our usual coffee-and-small-talk ritual as though I didn’t have a guy hiding in my room. He waited there an hour before my parents went back upstairs and I snuck him out to take him back to his hotel!
3. Brooke, 32
When it comes to intimacy and wanting to spend the night with a date when you live with your parents, you definitely have to get creative – or sneaky.
Now, I’m a master at sneaking my boyfriend out, but when I first moved back in with my parents, I had a close call. My ex was in my room, and I suddenly heard my mom coming up the stairs, calling out that she had my clean laundry.
My then-boyfriend got so scared, he literally squeezed himself under my bed right as my mom opened the door. Luckily, I had draped part of my comforter over the side of the bed where my boyfriend was, and I pretended to be half-asleep as my mom came into the room.
Shortly after that, I set up some “rules” with my parents, such as not to walk into my room with just a few seconds’ notice – and to stop doing my laundry! I also put a lock on my door.
4. Maria, 34
The guy I’m dating is 10 years older than me, but moved back in with his mom after some bad luck. A few months into dating, he asked me to come over for dinner – his mother was cooking, and I’m not one to turn down a homemade meal, so I accepted.
After dinner, we sat and watched TV with his mom until she went to bed. My boyfriend and I started making out like two pubescent teenagers, then moved to his bedroom.
Right when things were getting good, his mom burst into the room and started yelling at us: “Not in my house!” and, “Go home and leave my son alone!” and, “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?!”
Ashamed, I put my clothes back on as fast as I could and ran out the front door. I felt a little embarrassed, but couldn’t help but laugh all the way home!
5. Zoe, 30
Luckily, my parents are super open and would actually prefer that my boyfriend sleeps at our place versus me not sleeping at home. Crazy, I know!
At first, there were some awkward moments, like me reminding my boyfriend we needed to have “quiet sex” – which took some getting used to, but now we’ve perfected it. We also try to take advantage of times of day when no one’s home.
My boyfriend also ran into my dad in the bathroom once (my dad has a tendency to not lock the door). But, all in all, the four of us now have a good system going, though I certainly don’t want to live at home forever!
6. Candice, 31
I have go-to hiding places for my dates in case my parents suddenly come home. I never planned on these hiding places, but created them after my mom got up early one morning just as my boyfriend was about to leave, so I pushed him into this half-remodeled bathroom we had by the front door.
My mom was very chatty that morning, so he had to hide in there for quite a while. Poor guy. Yeah, I could just ask my parents if my boyfriend could sleep over, but there’s no way my dad would go for that, so it’s easier to just sneak him out instead.
7. Brittany, 32
Ever since I moved back in with my parents, I definitely don’t have anyone sleep over! They’re pretty old-fashioned, but even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t be comfortable making out or having sex with someone when my parents are right down the hall. Plus, my dad hasn’t really accepted that I’m a lesbian.
My dating life has changed in other ways, too – now, I meet dates out more versus having them pick me up at home, and I’ve gotten used to car or sidewalk makeouts (NOT in front of my house!) versus couch or bedroom ones.
8. Kevin, 30
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I previously lived on my own in Washington, DC. But I have studentstudent loans, so to save money, I moved back to the suburbs outside Louisville, KY with my parents. According to thedating apps, I’ve still got it.
I started chatting with a guy who lives near me and “What do you do?” came up quickly in the conversation. Luckily, I’ve got that covered: I work in marketing for a Fortune 100 company and provide freelance consulting to small businesses and organizations.
He was impressed, he was older, and he lived near my parents, which meant he probably had it together. We got dinner, hit it off, and when I told him my secret – that I live with my parents – he totally understood. And then I realized I could never date him when he said, “That’s OK. So do I.”