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- While committing to another person is a fulfilling experience, there are some signs that you should take a step back and slow the process down, New York City-based therapist Rachel Sussman told INSIDER.
- If you plan multiple dates in the same week with one person, can’t go long without texting or calling them, or just got out of another relationship, you could be moving too fast.
- “We should take our time to know a person and make sure they are who they appear to be,” Sussman said.
When you’re navigating a brand new relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all before realizing things are moving too quickly. While committing to another person is a fulfilling experience, there are ways to tell if you should take a step back and slow down, Rachel Sussman, a New York City-based therapist, told INSIDER.
“We should take our time to know a person and make sure they are who they appear to be,” Sussman said. She added that trust is earned over time and through experience, so rushing into something won’t allow trust to form naturally.
These are the signs to look out for if you might think your new relationship is moving too fast.
You plan multiple dates in one week
While going on dates is a great way to get to know someone, Sussman told INSIDER that planning too many get-togethers can be a sign that you’re moving too fast.
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“You want to be able to process it and think about that person after the date and miss them even,” Sussman said, adding that going on lots of dates in a short time span won’t allow for that processing period. She recommended one date per week when you’re just starting to see a new person.
You can’t go an hour without texting them
Similar to planning too many dates into a short period of time, constantly being in contact with a potential partner could be a sign things are moving too fast.
Sussman said you shouldn’t be afraid to lessen the frequency of texting, calling, or emailing if you feel overwhelmed. On the other hand, if you feel like you have to be in constant contact because you’re worried the person will lose interest or refuse to commit to you, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with them, Sussman told INSIDER.
To better understand a person’s level of commitment, you can look for signs that suggest they aren’t serious about the relationship. These signs include never introducing you to their family or friends, not following through with plans, and refusing to talk about the future, INSIDER previously reported.
You’re already meeting their parents
While meeting a person’s family and friends is an important step in a new relationship, Sussman said doing so too soon can raise some red flags. Before you meet your partner’s inner circle, you should establish a close connection with them and clearly define your relationship status.
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Sussman generally tells people to give it about three months before meeting parents and friends. “If you had three dates and they’re like, ‘my parents are in town, want to meet?’ it’s too early,” Sussman said.
You just got out of another relationship
If your new relationship is following another relationship you recently ended, it could be a sign you need to slow down. There is no specific amount of time you should take between relationships, but you do need to come to terms with why your relationship ended and resolve any feelings (both positive and negative) you have about your ex, Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, previously told INSIDER.
“Take it slow because if you fall for someone, they can end it at any time,” Sussman said. “Ask yourself if you’re in a space to handle that.”
You talk about making major life plans with them
It’s one thing to know you want to eventually get married and have children, but planning your life with someone you only are starting to know could be a sign you need to re-evaluate how quickly your relationship is moving.
In the same vein, if your new love interest won’t stop telling you how much they want to buy a house or hit another major milestone with you and it makes you uncomfortable, that’s a huge red flag.
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